Sunday, September 2, 2012

I WAS MOLESTED

I do not wish to start this piece philosophically or on a  moral high, nor do I have any thoughts about  the greater good of any community or ‘society’. I wish to write this to justify me to myself. Yesterday on the 1st of September, at around 7:30 in the evening I was coming back from college I took a detour from my usual route and boarded the Blue line of the Delhi Metro from Rajiv Chowk. Being used to this chaos everyday, I was warned by my companion that we should board the ‘Ladies’ compartment and not the ‘General’ compartment. The sensible arguments I gave were, firstly that it is a ‘general’ compartment and not demarcated for men, so no harm boarding it. Secondly, that they are humans and not ‘animals’.  I lost the argument in the next few minutes.

I had to get off after four or so stations,  so it didn’t seem like the decision was going to cost me heavily. Being surrounded by 50 to 60 heavily sweating men was a  nightmare enough to take for one evening, but it had hardly begun. Throughout those 10 minutes that I was present there every part of my body was scanned in an inch by inch detail which made me feel like my sex was a curse with which I was born. The ordeal had started.

My station arrived, I shoved my way with great difficulty to make it to the door before it could close and during this struggle my top was pulled by a man to expose my breast for a good 15 seconds while at the same time somebody grabbed my behind. I was paralysed in shock. Nevertheless, I started pushing again and finally reached the door and stepped onto the platform. I  screamed my lungs out at those 5 to 6 men who were standing at the door. I hurled abuses at them which ideally no sensible Indian girl should utter even in thoughts, let alone whisper.

The reaction of those men was something that made the experience traumatic for me – they simply stared at me and LAUGHED. They continued laughing and my anger continued to rise. I was outraged at their sensibilities. I had always believed, that if ever I face such a situation in my life I would beat the daylights out of those people, but I could only stare at them. I was dumbfounded. My hurling abuses seemed like an impetus for them to laugh harder.  I was boiling inside.

I am not playing victim here. Self-pity is something I have done away with. This is not my intent. I want to know how come out of that entire compartment not even one man came forward to do something about it.
They could have stopped the metro immediately.
They could have called 1091 or simply stepped out of the metro to support me.
And, they could have stepped up and changed the situation there and then.

How low have you all sunken?
Does the status of being anonymous in a crowd fueled with this pathetic group mentality give them the freedom to do anything? Why blame the patriarchal setup, when the women present there looked at me as if I was at fault for being a girl and misplacing the societal norm of keeping quiet. Nobody present on that busy platform came forward to do ANYTHING.

If the frustration level of men in Delhi which seems to be so high then, they should go to places where sexual services are available. But,  MY BODY IS MY OWN and I do not give anybody the right to touch it.  This article is not about me; it’s about the psychological scars that I’ll have to live with for life. It’s about how incidents like these happen everyday and they are not even talked about because of the fear of being caught in something bigger and unwanted. It’s about how after going through all of this I for sometime blamed myself. In time, I remembered the words of my teacher, “It’s never your fault.” I do not know if this would help things or change the current scenarios, all I know is that I have lost my faith.

142 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. I think Delhi Metro has one reserve Coach for Ladies,and men not allowed on the same coach, then how it happens.

      As per survey of Delhi Metro 80% riders are men and only 20% riders are women, then I think ladies should travel on reserve coaches specially during hours.

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  2. These men are lower than the street dogs...make sure they are taught a lesson

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    1. With you there. I'm sure something is bound to happen. Thank you so much for everything.

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  3. really sorry to see such a state of delhi. its beyond the point where it could have been fixed by police and authorities.

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    1. My problem is with the people and their actions. Let's correct ourselves first and then talk about the system.

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  4. Really sorry state of affairs & that too when its the nation's capital.

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    1. Yes, indeed it is sad and one tends to feel dejected about it.

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  5. These animals r good for nthing... they r nt men they are actually wild animals who just seeks for chances like this n hv fun of few seconds. Even i faced a situation like this twice in metro but i fought back. A man touched me in a wrong manner and at that movement only i grabbed his hand and gave a tight slap on his face. My friend was there wid me and we did'nt let him go then. And ppl around me said Koi baat nhe beta hota rehta hai. I said to them its none of there business and i m nt here for public service. These bastards shud be handed over to the police rite there, they dont deserve to be a part of the civilized society. Really Ashamed to be a part of this society.

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    1. Proud to have you.
      More power to you!

      unfortunately a train is something you can't linger things for long for many reasons, but you did absolutely correct. This guy would remember!

      Unfortunately Ritika was alone (I suppose) and was too shocked to do anything perhaps

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    2. Neha this is very brave of you, but as different people react differently to any given situation and before I could understand what has happened it all came to an end. However, at least people are discussing the problem which serves my purpose.

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  6. Shocked to read this... Delhi is no better than any small city where such incidents are common.

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    1. Its probably not about the cities, but about the mentality our society promotes. its cool to be vice these days, isn't it?

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  7. Shocked and numb after reading this. Metro is seen as safer than other public transport but after incidents like this or no action on such incidents, it will be another breeding ground for perverts who used to thrive in the city buses.
    Sick.

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    1. I'm sure it happens everyday to a lot of people but just that most choose to keep quiet about it.

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  8. God, what sick people! As someone who's been molested herself (although haven't most of us Indian women been molested at one time or another?) I salute you for speaking out. Thank you for writing this and voicing an anger I've felt only too often.
    The women were silent. That was the most horrible part... If we don't stick up for each other, how will we ever progress? Of course it wasn't your fault. It's sick that we're taught to blame ourselves for things like this. That it's so ingrained. You had every right to enter the General compartment and to be treated like a human being whose space and body must be respected.
    I don't know how we will ever change the way things are, but getting very very angry is a start.

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    1. It's just a vicious cycle in which all of us get trapped where we are always catering to someone or the other. Sometime, we'll have to stand up for what is right and needs to be told to everyone.

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    2. actually our system is losing all moral values day by day... anybody sick dont even think about their own families b4 doing all this... its in fashion to harrass odrs 4 amusement ... but how can they get pleasure in these mean things ... d education system, society, family & regulating authorities all should come forward to make us a civilized society ...

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  10. Ritika, I feel sorry for what happened to you, but whats more shaming is this has happened to all of us at one point in our live or another. It's as if the fact that we are girls or women you have the misfortune of staying in Delhi, means we are forever going to pay. It is hard I know, we all think if it was us we would definitely have lugged the men, but I'm telling you from experience, all that happens is you get angry outraged and hurl abuses and the guy(s) LAUGH. Trust me we are all angry, but expecting men to fell sorry is like wishing for Hell to freeze over.. its never going to happen. So next time lets pledge, u and me both, if something like this happens in front of us, we HELP the poor girl ok? We click pictures of the B********, we make a video of the men and we go to the nearest police station or the concerned authorities, or even put them up here on ur blog or on mine. If you dont want to be the victim.. lets be the change.

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    1. Agreed, and supported.
      But often it happens so fast that till the time you realize, get a camera out and try to video, its already too late.
      Will have to come up with more solutions.
      Being in Delhi doesn't mean that girls have to go through this shit.
      Indeed the guys forget that one day there sisters/wive/mom could have been in the same situation.

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    2. Let's try that there won't be a next time and this 'bystander culture' will have to go. It'll most certainly have to.

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  11. wish we could just ... shoot them dead or sumthing.. URGH!!!! .... a milder way wud be, keep Pepper spray wid u and attaaack if sumthing like this happens. but who suspects that this'l happen?? even i many a times travel in the general compartment, thinking, what's the harm?? but apparently, there IS. :|

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    1. I wish we could enter anywhere at anytime but sadly that is not the case currently.

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  12. Have you tried to get those punished?

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    1. No, my only problem is with the mindset with which society functions and anyhow at that time I was dumbfounded to do anything.

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  13. It really is vefh shamefull. Next time I see something like this, I am gonna teach a lesson to such morons.

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    1. Well I really hope this 'bystander' attitude goes away.

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  14. Get your brothers or friends...go to that metro at the same time again...find them, bash them...so that they don't do that again to anyone else !!

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    1. I respect your sentiment but what I have set to do will not get solved with such actions. We all need to work towards a long term solution.

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  15. dumb head like me..would have banged em over there

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    1. I respect your sentiment but what I have set to do will not get solved with such actions. We all need to work towards a long term solution.

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  16. I truly empathize. The scar does not part way so easily but do try to make it steer in the right direction.
    Good Luck.

    Regards,
    Someone who has been in a similar situation as a kid

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    1. I can't even imagine what you must have went through. Hope you've healed over time. Thank you for your support.

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  17. The worst part is not only the men but the women too check you out from head to heels! Why cant people in this world maintain their own business!
    So sad to hear about all this :(

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    1. Sometimes I am forced to think that it is because women react in this way that the shackles of patriarchy are never broken.

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  18. Delhi is the worst place a female can commute in. Perverts need to be taught a lesson. However I also condemn the horrible movies which show women as only sexual objects to leer at and abuse. Let such movies be banned or boycotted by women . The fact is that the moral character of our society has fallen too low

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    1. Medha, it is very true that women are sometimes treated nothing more than 'human furniture' and this commodification of women to a large extent has also happened because we've let it happen.

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  19. It's a shame. I'm really sorry to hear about it. Wish you peace & strength.

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    1. Thank you so much for your support. Appreciate it.

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  20. Hi Ritika,

    It really is a sad state of affairs. I shamefully agree that "men" have stooped down to very very low levels... Yes, they have behaved like animals, and there is nothing that calls for/justifies this unmanly act.. There are some who haven't stooped down to such levels, but then, they just stand there looking silently... I don't know if they are waiting for it to happen to their sisters, mothers, wives and friends...

    The women are told to dress appropriately whereas it is the opposite sex that needs moral policing...

    I don't know what to say to you right now... Sympathies don't do damage correction and nor does anything else, but yes, "MEN" seriously need to think of where they are headed and what they are giving to the side of the society that completes them.

    Can't even say sorry. I just hope that you or any other girl/woman never has to go through such a situation ever again.

    Disappointed and ashamed!

    Mohit Ahuja

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    1. It's such a refreshing change to see a man truly empathise with the situation. We all have to respect each other's personal spaces; be it a man or a woman because gender are nothing but social conditioning. Let's just learn to be human first to each other.

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  21. Im ashamed. Even though I had nothing to do with the incident, I feel ashamed! I'd like to apologize on behalf of my gender. I feel disgusted, just reading about what you had to go through.. I'm really sorry that you had to.

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    1. Joon, thank you for extending your sympathies and hope that we can all contribute in the larger cause of this issue.

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  22. This is getting common and Indeed very shameful.

    I feel our country's law & order is on stake...Until govt/police slaps severe penalties and punishments, these dogs will keep on rising.

    our Govt is impotent and failure in itself which can't provide safety to their citizens.

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    1. Somehow, more than the legislation and the judiciary I feel we need to work on ourselves at a basic human level. Maybe then a long term change can come around.

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    2. Well, humans respond to incentives...and strong legislation and judiciary will create a big disincentive.

      I understand that you would prefer people having the good sense, rather than being forced out of fear to behave. But, how? And how much will we wait for it? Isn't the point of having institutions such as a government, society and a nation to make sure that everyone follows a basic minimum set of human values.

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  23. Yes dis is where d indian society stands, in shit i wud say. i knw u reacted in d best way u cud at dat point in tym, ne brave girl wud hv done d same. so kudos 2 u ! but i think TODAY u cant expect ne one 2 help u or support u newhere in ne situation. so its better 2 trust just urself n no one else. ur faith is shaken but dont let it shake u for d negative. make urself more prepared for dese situations by acting more sensibly. here u cudnt do nethin but ideally u cud hv jus pressed d emergency button n stopped d metro urself, asked (i wud mean forced) d people 2 help u n catch dose guys n complained at metro grievance cell n handed dem 2 d security. maybe dey cudnt hv done much but yes u cud hv jus got d chance 2 slap dose bastards!!
    i guess dat cud hv been jus far better dan jus getting down wen ur station came. Good Luck n take care :)

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  24. i can feel it what you have been through, once even i felt the same and something even worse than that. at a point when i even had two of my so called best friends who didn't bothered to look at me!i wish you would have slapped those bastards !!

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  25. Ritika, more or less, the chivalry is dead.
    The type of societal system that we have, doesn't encourage the spirits in the men anymore, to make them courageous enough from the inside to stand up for others.
    It's pathetic.
    I could only make this out when I got myself into studies and combat training just out of passion, that this is the basic trait of a male (to provide security/protection) which we humans have lost.
    You can't be even sure that if a man of these days will be able to save himself.

    If we're marrying our daughters, we look for all kinds of securities (financial, paternal etc) except the physical/psychological security or protection her future husband would be able to provide her with.
    You see, the society doesn't seem to need it or promote it. We're just so ignorant.

    Like it or not, we are the sole responsible for our own security these days.
    The place where I trained, I had a fellow girl friend who these guys couldn't dare messing up with.

    I am not promoting violence, but acts like these must be reacted with violence.

    I suppose, as many other working women, you'd also be going to gyms for fitness. I would suggest to look for other options to physical fitness which not only make you strong/lose weight but also teach you tactics which can be used in scenarios like these.
    So the next time any guy does anything like this, you give him a reply which he never forgets for his life and gets nightmares about.

    I could have consoled you (which I think I did somehow), could have cursed the city, the situation etc and could have ended up with a sigh, but I would rather pump you up from the inside to get yourself equipped, to teach lessons to people, and maybe stand for others in their needs.

    Being a guy myself, I have been a submissive person, and have been bullied many times. Nobody came to my help, but now I don't need anyone anymore. And I am thankful to that bend of my brain which trained me enough to stand up for myself, and for others.
    I wish someone like me was present in that compartment to stand for you.

    I can be of help in this regard if you need any and can be contacted via sheikhaman.com or through my blogger profile.
    (I am not a trainer, nor do I earn by posting this message. I am just a trainee, concerned about security and the right of the people to lead a dignified life)

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  26. As sorry as I am to hear about such sad state of affairs, (due to which even I never want any of my female friends or family members to travel in a public transport even) I guess that's where the Power of Kirpan comes handy to a Sikh girl..

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    1. Oh yes indeed.
      I so agree with you (on the Kirpan part)

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  27. This was something I always feared whenever I travel in "general" compartment in metro. The moment you struggle to get out of metro specially at stations like Rajeev Chowk..."men" are ready with their hands to move them freely anywhere on "us". In the end its hard to figure out who did it when look back...and look..."we" again were molested and helpless as always!

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  28. I always failed to understand the concept of society.
    First they'd be blind spectators and when something happens they become gentlemen and mind their own business.
    Why these fools forget that next time it'd be their sisters and mothers. Such perverts had no right to live in any society.
    And yet I applaud the superior toleration power of the mob which had evolved with ages.
    The least these could do is to step out in protest.
    I felt extremely sad to know this.
    SALUTE TO YOUR BRAVERY !!
    May God give you more strength !!

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  29. really shocked after reading this....i am a Lucknowite and could see that the same could reach to here too.
    Police do not take immediate actions anywhere even on the complaint of the victim. So, these low mentality, frustrated people are not afraid of.
    Immediate action should be taken from police and also the victim.

    saala ek baar police ne agar apna dar paida kar diya to kisi ki mazaal nahi aisa kar sake!

    wish!

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  30. shame on the people who were present there

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  31. Really..wish there were men in that compartment. You ran into animals.

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  32. Shameful to the deepest core. These morons really don't remember that they too have mother and god forbid a sister back home. As someone above said, Pepper spray should be carried all the time and used in such conditions. And it's really not about a city. It's about the people. My sister is in Australia and she carries pepper spray all the time and has used it in the past for good.
    And one of the reason why no one acted is the laid back attitude and chalta hai mentality. Once I had tried stopping such guys, and the reply I got was "Kyu hero ban raha hai" from the general crowd and the uncles who might have daughters at home.
    I can only hope and wish that these bastards learn a lesson and the streets can become little safe.

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  33. I know, no words could solace you at the moment. Delhi is heading to the point of no return soon. We're surrounded by animals from all sides. Women's compartment is not the answer, really. Once you're out on the platform, you're as safe as they let you be:(

    Now the so called moral police would come up again with a point that it was the your mistake and you asked for it by entering the general compartment. :( We talk of big things like democracy but half the population doesn't even know the difference between a man and an animal.

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    1. Couldn't agree more with you more on the freaking Moral Police. It was just two days ago I was watching what they did in Chandigarh the moral police on valentine's day.

      The people who were acting as Moral Police - bastards themselves looked like hooligans.

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  34. Where Is The Safest Place In The World For Women To Live And Work?
    http://www.upworthy.com/infographic-where-is-the-safest-place-in-the-world-for-women-to-live-and-work?c=upw1

    The answer isn't suprising

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  35. Its a shame to be among those animals, who never got a modicum of education and decency from their roots. I am really sorry for whatever happened. If there are these animals, there is Waheguru too, who will teach them a lesson. If you are lucky enough, you would get a chance to see them getting punished. May not be now , but a definite yes...They would get the reply from the master himself.

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  36. i m so sorry to hear that.. it s not abt the city..it s about the sick mentality of the ppl involved.. had they been in any other city.. they would have done the some.. sick minds never change...:(

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  37. sorry to hear dis. u could have slapped the bastards hard. because of people like these, delhiites bear the brunt of being cruel towards the fairer sex. u r nt at fault by saying that the metro compartment is fr general. i think if you had shown the courage by slapping them, a guy or two would have definately come to your rescue.
    General public:this can happen to our mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives...anybody..would you want the public to be mute spectator at that time?think twice.

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  38. I feel ashamed to call myself a man after reading this. Because its men like me who travel in the metro everyday and its men like me who never came forward to help the victims of such situations. Im not talking about the ones who committed the shameful act, because they cannot be called men or rather humans. The silence and blind eye of the public gives courage to such perverts. This mentality is a wide- spread problem and I cannot see any solution in the immediate future. Its high time that the civilized people of this country take a pledge to fight against such crimes.

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  39. Hi Ritika,

    Sorry to hear that . I think every girl faces this situation mostly everyday. It is the responsibility of the metro officials not to allow a huge chunk of people to get inside the metro. There should be a limit decided for every metro cabin so that there is at least ample space for a person to BREATH!!! It is the soul reason why there becomes a close proximity with unwanted people resulting in such demeaning acts.
    I hope Delhi Metro acts on this and makes sure that making a ladies compartment does not help, they also have to help control the number of people so that such situations can be avoided.
    Although, I feel even in the 21st century, a female is still looked down upon, Poor Indian Mentality, Poor Indian Men..A Shame..!!!!

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    1. You can't blame it on the population Shinu. India's burdened with it, no way out there. But burgeoning population can't be used as an excuse. Sick mentality and hopeless breakdown of law and order. Both of them not going to change overnight :(

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  40. I read it. sorry for what has happened.

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  41. can't be more sorry. i feel ashamed. every other such accident makes me more outraged and ashamed all the same. each time i read such news i feel terrified and worried for the females i know, my sisters, friends and relatives. if only everyone could feel the same i hope these accidents won't happen.

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  42. I feel bad when something like that happens to girls who believe " All men are not the same" . I really feel bad.

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  43. These sick beast pseudo males should be beaten like anything :(I'm very much ashamed to be a man :(

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  44. They say actions speak louder than words. Well Mrs. Dikshit, here you have it. Your milleniem city. The city that dreams of holding Olympics but cant hold its shorts straight.
    The overall social psychological attitude has a lot to do with also how the system responds to such threats. e.g banning women in Gurgaon from working beyond 10 pm.
    This permeates through different social layers as an act of cowardice and re-instating the pathetic view that its the womans' fault not the Mans'.
    Ashamed to be a "Delhite".
    Unfortunately, I can only offer you my sympathies. Such incidents provoke this uncontrolled anger and rage within me. Almost feel very helpless.

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  45. Shameful and ugly. :( Wish there were some real MEN there in that compartment of eunuchs.

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    1. I completely agree. This whole 'mardangi' comes out only when they can supress and harm unarmed women. Talk about mardangi in doing the right thing, nope, no such thing. I don't usually swear but they're nothing but a bunch of Bloody F*ing animals. Even eunuchs don't do that.

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  46. Alas our Indian society. Please do accept my apology, on behalf of those sick bastards called "Men".

    I hate to belong to the "breed" of men. If this is who we are.

    Saale harami! Inki jab apni maa behen ke saath hota hai. Saale aag baboola ho jate hain.

    Couple of days ago, I became a part of an investigation where a girls nude pictures were taken and uploaded on the internet.

    Which in-turn let to me discovering the horror of Indian society and who we have become. The website had pictures of regular women, doing regular stuff. It was just there. They were uploaded. It is called exbii. Go to the adult section. You will see for yourself how EW, third grade, 0 moral values, education has no difference - BTW those are all educated guys there. You know. They have cellphones and they use internet, makes me believe they have education.

    The IRONY of these BASTARDS is they don't want the girl child. So now the number of women is anyways less. Now these bastards are sexually frustrated.

    I am sorry - May be it is just me, may be because I am no longer in India. I was there at a nude beach recently and NO ONE I MEAN NO ONE EVEN STARED at the women. In fact women can walk at night here - Completely drunk & alone. Guys will may be will pass a comment or something. But they dare not stalk or say something to offend. Leave alone molesting. The point I am trying to make is IT IS JUST US! Indian Men!!

    If someone says that it is not US! I beg to differ, it is WE the men who contribute to who the entire group is. Just because few people have more education and act sophisticated are different - Nope! Deep-down everyone is the same. Same intentions - May be higher or extreme - Some have low or subtle ways.

    Once again - Please accept our apology. I feel what you went through and felt extremely agitated.

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  47. I can very unfortunately and sadly relate to what you must have gone through. I know how you feel when you are only one screaming your lungs out and no one comes forward. And that makes you wonder, who is the actual culprit. That,who behaves like an animal and stoops to such levels of depravity? Or those mute spectators whose silence is what these perverts thrive on?

    Who should we attend to first?

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  48. My head hangs in shame after reading this.
    These street dogs!!!
    Treat every girl as you want your sister to be treated by others.
    Sorry for what you went through.
    SHAMEFUL!!!!

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  49. Lets face it. You can't change these animals overnight. You cannot change each and every animal in delhi by teaching one a lesson in one instance. Moreover each and every girl is different, some are brave, some are shy.
    Please understand that you cannot fight five men around you. Stay away from them.
    What do you do in a jungle. You never go out and say a hello to the animals, you stay out from them.
    Please please please DO NOT travel in general compartments.

    Even if you travel in that 1%, be brave and face the situation rather than to shy away. You already lost your dignity infront of the people there.

    Although tough, I seriously feel every woman in delhi should undergo basic self defense training from delhi police. The situation has come to such a point that its absolutely necessary.

    There can be no word which could level the agony a woman goes through these situations.

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  50. extremely disgusting.but one of my friends was giving a solution that all biharis should be removed from delhi to solve such a problem....are you sure ,men belonging to only a certain region do such heinous things .i know many delhi localites doing such things shamelessly.at the ,problem lies in -people's attitude.horrific.

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  51. Its extremely disgusting and depressing. I'm sorry you had to go through that. What's even more worrying is that now we also have to worry about a backlash. I am proud of the person up above, who commented that she slapped, but even that didn't get anyone else to pitch in and support her. People still said it happens. Ever since the case of the pregnant nurse who miscarried because she got stomped on by a mother and her teenage daughter because she spoke out on being hit by their vehicle in Kurla, Mumbai, I shudder to think if we can even afford to fight back :( Its such a depressing state of affairs when you have to even think protecting your dignity.

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  52. I'm disgusted. What's the point of all this advancement in infrastructure and technology when the human mind continues to think and behave like an animal.

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  53. Feeling angry. More at the fact of being a man, than those dogs. Sorry. I so desperately wish just one guy amongst those to stand up with you at that time.

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  54. not shocked.. But very disheartened... feeling very low and ashamed of being a Delhite and for that matter ashamed of being an indian and more of it being an human... Shameful.. I pledge i will nvr let these things go .. i will evr be present in the situation , I will fight for it no matter watever will be the outcome...

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  55. its disgraceful but what u have done there and here is really appreciable.at least u have raised ur voice,and i think that's the first step to solution, and i know next time u will bit the shit out of any guys who dare to do it.#respect

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  56. I'm really disgusted, Sister. But, at the same time, I'd like to state that these things are inevitable when girls wear such revealing clothes in the current setup. By the term "Current setup", I do mean, when the media (Television/Internet..) is abound by the stuff that acts as catalyst to animalify the desires of men. Sister, I apologize you on behalf of the miscreants! We should have taken a lesson from the west where these things are normal now. But, we tend to get closer to them day by day. I would like to reiterate my words that, unless our sisters shun wearing revealing clothes these things are bound to happen and will rise day by day. Period!

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    1. i couldn't figure out what r u implying??because i don't think, these type of deplorable incidence have any relation to dresses women wear.

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    2. i do not wish to include in some pseudo-religious talks here but i would like to clear few facts...
      first of all these kind of incidents are not normal anywhere in the world...be it WESTERN, Developing or any Isalmic country..all nations have strict laws against harassments...

      Also, if u go around the world (If ur fan of travelling) u will find that EVE-TEASING is strictly an Indian phenomenon (or maybe south asian phenomenon at most)....

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    3. seriously? i'l tell you to change your view of looking at women as a sex object or something that gives your eyes pleasure.
      before telling women to change their dressing sense we should look upto ourselves that what kind of person we are, what perspective do we have. women have all the rights that we men have and even more than that i suppose, yet again they are suppressed, molested everyday.
      and stop taking the example of western countries and saying that its an evryday thing their, that's totally bullshit. google on a census report and find out the results.
      mentality of getting provoked by dressing sense is even more disgusting.

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  57. You've brought out something faced by women, like every second day. And very beautifully, if that's the right word.
    I am not the publicity kind of person. But, I shared this one as much as I could.

    I wouldn't make cliched feminist comments here, or for that matter say anything related to the 'pathetic' state. Because that is something all of us have to work about, I guess.
    All I want to say is that, you're an amazing writer, whoever you are.

    Love.

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  58. its really disgusting.i dont know y some guys r so lymphomaniac. n ppl thr were shameless.

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  60. I lived in Delhi for three years and have always told my girl friends to make absolutely sure to travel in the ladies compartment, especially if they're alone or with another girl. It's an absolute jungle out there. Hope you put this behind you.

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  61. You don't need a sorry from me; nor do you need me to tell you that it's going to go away and not happen again. Sadly enough, there's a good chance that nobody is going to step forward the next time it happens, either. We're part of a coward society and you're going to have to learn to kick ass by yourself. Trust me.

    But, what I do want to tell you is that you're courageous. At least, to me. You're one of those few people I've come across, who believe in introspection. I'd just like to thank you for making this effort to spread awareness.

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  62. Also, you might be interested in this page. Friend had a similar experience and wrote about it too. http://www.ihollaback.org/

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  63. It's a system in which we are made to believe that it's the woman's fault if she is molested because "she asked for it". If you go and complain to the police or the guards at metro station, the first response would be "Why were you travelling in the General compartment?"

    Until this mentality changes, there is nothing that will change in the system or in this country.

    I have been stared at many times, dealt with unwanted glares and similar cases of molestation all three years I studied in Delhi university and travelled by public transport. I can totally empathise with your anger and feelings and my heart goes out to you.

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  64. Firstly, all those who are surprised n disgusted to read about this are probably not reading newspapers and watching news coz molestation n rape are now more common in India than pick pocketing. This eventually happened with Ritika n many more after her coz WE never learned from the first case which was ever reported. We never did anything to stop it from happening again.
    Secondly, dont try n rub salt on her wounds by having pity n sympathy on her and repeat words like molestation, low thinking of men etc which keeps on reminding her of the incident. She herself doesnt want to have pity on herself. She just wrote it to herself, to talk to herself, to vent out her feelings.
    Thirdly, all men are same. Some just stare and some actually touch it.
    Fourthly, If We need to do anything, it is to promise to ourselves n only ourselves that we will do everything in our capability to stop it. It could be bashing up the molesters, carrying pepper sprays, reporting to police n even not molesting anyone.
    Lastly, Ritika...God bless u!

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  65. Such gore incidents make me feel sick about my own nation.
    All the more courage to you.
    All the more disgust to such assholes.

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  66. ashamed for the people of my gender. not for the people who did it, for they are animals and will never learn but for those who just watched and did nothing.

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  67. disgusting. i mean, every girl out there has the right to do whatever they want to. but the society has become so narrow minded and so bold about their self-made views that they think nothing is correct against it. every other guy in delhi has some approach to get away with the law and its working. reporting this incident to the police wouldn't have helped. people who did this are actually brought up in such an atmosphere that 'nobody's more powerful than me' , 'women ARE the weaker sex' , 'if they are dressed in short clothes, they are tend to me molested or raped' because in their view, it's "provocative", 'kar kya legi ek ladki? hum ye kar denge we'l do this that' bullshit yaar. you dont own the friggin system or the law and order. everybody has an equal right to appeal, speak out. people need to change their perspectives. and for the bystanders, they are equal culprits for such a thing. i wonder why people don't realise that tommorow it could be anyone of your family and things could become worse (god forbidden). i just hope such a thing doesn't become an everyday routine type of shit.
    nonetheless, it was a shameful act, i at times feel sorry for their parents, who are unaware for the fact that their son is no less than a criminal.
    god bless the society, please. :/

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  68. This is really bad and i have heard of many such situations from people who are involved in such acts. Such people dont understand and they aint human. Even pity cant help them.

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  69. This issue is so rampant in metro particularly at certain stations of blue and yellow line that i witnessed metro guards to advice female passengers to board first coach only. The issue raised by you is so serious that 95% victims do not report it to their families leave aside doing something on the spot. You are a courageous person at least you shouted. But fighting off animals with force is a bad idea until you are trained for it . I wont even suggest it to male counterparts unless you have already done it.My point here is what is see in metro by and large young people specially young ladies display a low self awareness (staggering percentage use headphones).To all who read this please make sure that awareness is something which cost very less and can save you from these traumatic experiences. You can contemplate a response within seconds if you are alert . All your actions and reactions can help you only when your brain is working . What happens is as we deal with these situations we know something wrong may happen but we pin our hope for the best because nobody likes to think about the wrongs. This is where these perverts and bastards find their prey coz by and large all of us like to think about expected. I am not giving any tips for fighting back coz they looks good only at paper. But alertness can certainly enhance your chances for avoiding and certainly for fighting back if required. For example one good look around you and a female can sense who is likely bastard so keep distance. It might not be possible always but you can reduce their chances. So far as the society is concerned , it is heartening to say but do not expect anyone to come for help as the environment we are living is promoting ignorance and commoditization where every thing even the punishment for crimes have a price tag. ( I have been victim to armed robbery )

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  70. Can the authorities not demand CCTV footage and take action. I strongly recommend you not let this incident go.

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  71. i don't know about the men who were there.. but i was there, i'd have been the one who stood up with you. The goodness isn't extinct.. but i realise that the change is required. What i wish i could have done then, i'd try and do now. Maybe that might prevent such things in future. Thanks for being the spark to this little fire i can see.

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  72. I Recommend here that we should not let go of this incident...lets demand CCTV footage from metro authority as suggested by someone else in the thread...and demand justice...
    Also i would also like to ask the author if she complained about the incident immediately to the authority or not??

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  73. Hi Ritika,

    What happened with you is really so so sad. One can only imagine the mental torture that you must have gone through.

    But in this stream of dejection, please don't lose hope. Don't lose, as hard as it may be, a sense of objective reality. There are both bad people and good people. There are both cowards, and people of courage. And even if the 1st category might outnumber the second, the second is more powerful than its numbers, and it strives for (and brings) positive change to the world. If it wasn't so, human society would have collapsed long back.

    That brings me to what we need to do now. What we need is a social revolution - a movement for change - a movement to alter social conditioning, cultures, and what is accepted and what is not. How about we make this story a starting point for that change. I have an idea about where to take this, and I need your help, as well as of all the other people who have expressed their outrage here. If you think this is something you want to take forward, and I really hope you do, ping me on sahil.bajaj@gmail.com and we will take it ahead from there.

    Sahil

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  74. Have you ever thought of pepper spray? Has it ever occurred to you that your kitchen knife may prove another useful purpose away from home? Have you given a simple piece of blade, a good, hard look?

    http://clearway.blogspot.in/2012/09/molestation-of-woman-you-are-your-weapon.html

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  75. I dont want to comment on this... i know how one felt i still remember when i went to trade fair with my family and suddenly rush came in and two bloody scoundrels tried to touch my body parts i was wearing sweaters not any fascinating top or someting.... but the worst part was i was just 13years old....
    these bloody society is full off bastards... they dont have their mothers and sisters with whom they go and have fun......

    Ritika... i am sorry dear but this is all because of the society and their thoughts.
    but be brave.... and dont be shy just shout no matter whatever is happening around you... i am damn sure someone will definitely come forward from the crowd of perverts

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  76. Hi Ritika,

    You are brave..very brave !!
    When it happened to me for first time I thought its me only but later I was exposed to the fact that every girl or women has gone through this and not once but repeatedly.

    Disgust,anger,pity,frustation - they all come but sadly we leave it aside until next attack.I do not want coming generation to be suffocated in this environment. We definetely need a social revolution and we should come out with something against this.
    I WANT ALL THE LADIES NOT TO LET THIS ANGER GO AWAY AND LET THIS THURST BRING SOME CHANGE.

    Leena

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  77. Its extremely shameful. I am embarrassed to be a Man. Those scoundrels should be hanged till death. Respect Women as that shows your upbringing and culture.

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  78. Ritika, I need your contact detail, an email id or phone number maybe. I want to leave you a very important message. Please contact me, I am writing to you from Canada.

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  79. I'm sorry you had to go through this... and more than that its shameful and cowardly of all the people who didn't come forward!

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  80. This was a shameful act happened with you and I feel very sorry for that. Being a Man sometimes such incidents makes me feel head down and creates worry for my fiance, sisters as well. May God punish the guilty Men.

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  81. Dear, all we can do here is post and sympathise/empathise with you, abuse these men a little more... but nothing beyond that. Legalization of prostitution has been pleaded several tyms but no one really cares... The gov would rather have all women living in such a flesh-monging-gentry than legalize prostitution and keep options open fr people who are so fond of the female body. sad part often is that guys from gud familes, EVEN MARRIED would not tread back from such a situation .. n well.. NO ONE will come fr help ... one gal molested, the next comes to help..she too molested, guy comes to help.. he is beaten... sad face darling ... like all scams and other bull shit already in the country, we've gotto just live with it! i know sounds like a pathetic loser... but think again .. what can we do ??

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  82. People must share the link of this page today and make this viral. pls tweet and share on facebook.

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  83. Don't let this go. Creating awareness is an important step towards it but do make an official complaint. should have done right then in fact. The CCTV cameras might have helped to identify the bastards.
    It's about time we all start taking action about such issues instead of letting it go for some reason or the other.

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  84. Ritika no words to describe any reactions there. Completely with you & wondering how have we been fueling such a beastly society! Yes, I also use metro regularly n there r times when I do see a lot of obnoxious behaviour taking place there, but this comes as quite a shock. Hope you get over it soon & not lose the faith. Am glad you wrote about it. God bless u girl. We need more like you.

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  85. Really sad to hear your ordeal. Those men were at fault but the real culprits were the people around you who didn't come forward to protect you. It is due to this numb and zombie society that people continue to suffer. Today you are molested, tomorrow someone might try to attack and rob me. It is really sick. People who attack you should have been bitten at the neck hard, and their ear bitten off. Animals only understand the animal instincts.

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  86. Can understand how you feel and to all those who think this happens only in Delhi, think again. I'm from Bangalore and have faced quite a bit of this and more here as well. You know, sometimes what pisses you off are not these guys but the bystanders who just stand there and do nothing - even the women. Like you said, they just look at you like its your fault!

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  87. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  88. This is the very reason why our country is still called "3rd world". Country where such 3rd class people exist doesn't deserve to be advanced.

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  89. THese bastards deserve to be castrated! I ask the same question as you, have the men lost their spine? Perhaps they also derive voracious pleasure from seeing a woman helpless like that, waiting for a chance to peek at the exposed skin. Ours is truly a nation of hypocrites. Men have brainwashed women into being submissive and the tragedy is that women seem to have internalised that image as that of an ideal one. Till this day if there is a man in the woman's compartment I make it a point to let him know but then i ask myself is he really blind? Can he not see that he's surrounded by women even if he's a new passenger? The most annoying part is that all the other women behave as if nothing has happenned or smile and laugh amongst themselves! That is ridiculous!I can understand your anger and I'd say it is absolutely justified.

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    1. Well in Mumbai locals women beat the shit out of men the moment they step a single foot into their compartment.. I think women in Delhi should also do this

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  90. It makes my blood boil reading this. I have faced similar situations many times but not as extreme as yours. I wish I was there to help you, accompany you in screaming at those 'men' or call the cops. I hope you can get past the traumatic experience but since I have no hope for Delhi and its men, I know it will happen again and will have to read about it in someone else's blog.

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  91. hi ritika, really feel sad but not surprised.. humans are in fact animals by instinct...

    Looks like people here have taken this to India, its politicians and society... whereas actually its the people... And for each one's info talking crap about India, such groping exist in developed nations like USA, UK, Japan, and many other European countries...

    Well Ritika I'm a guy and even I was approached by a guy trying to touch in wrong place in gents compartment... so I can only imagine your horror...

    As you are now wise enough not to travel by such crowded public transports... But still in case if you ever get stuck in any crowd, and if anyone tries to touch you just shout at them to back off at that very instant..it will deter them and any other person who is even thinking of it...

    Hope you heal soon ..God bless u

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  92. Hi Ritika,

    There is nothing i can say or do that will provide you solace. But yes do remember one thing, it was unlucky for you and me that I wasn't there.

    Unlucky for you because I would have pressed the stop button, i would have stepped out to stand besides you, i would have called the emergency number and i would have taken up the role of hurling abuse. If I had company, I would have also pulled out one or two and would have allowed you the free hand to vent out your anger (ofcourse till the time cops come).

    Unlucky for me, as now all i offer is empty words, i could not provide you with a silver lining in your dark story, i cannot shake your mistrust in Knight in Shining Armor.

    But believe me Ritika, i only feel pity for myself when I read about such incidents; Mumbai 31 Dec Juhu, Mumbai India Gate, Guwahati Gang molestation, Mangalore Pub Case and now yours.

    I only hope that these are only a minuscule percentage when compared to the times when people (men and women alike) stood up to savages and showed them off.

    Sometimes a good beating is required to be dished out before you can let go of the past, so if you feel like going on a revenge prowl do let me know.

    Once again, it was unlucky that I wasn't there.

    Hope you do not face such incidents in future and when you do, there is someone like me next to you.

    All my love and respect for you.

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  93. I totally understand what ritika went thru. Self pity is the last thing we want. Its the fact that we have been told to ignore such idiots since eternity. but now is the time to speak back and probably give them a tight slap!!! Which reminds me getting a rickshawalla slapped just coz he thot he could eve tease me to come and after that sit in his rickshaw. i have a thousand incidents like this one. and yes i have felt the same anger like ritika, in a DTC bus long time bk too! i think the first thing is to change the mindset of the men!!! they cannot think every woman is their property!!! like in metro every man thinks so. i remb staring the shit out of a man with Shalini Baisiwala Anand in metro the other day. I decide to no longer take any stares or eve teasing ....i give it back!! beware all men!!!

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  94. there is nothing i can say, ritika, that can heal your wound...but if it helps, as a man, i am sorry. i am very very sorry. i am ashamed of what fellow men did and the way in which they behaved. i am sorry, ritika

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  95. I feel horrified reading your post.. brings back memories which I wouldnt want to remember.. I think every woman in India would have faced harrassment at some point in life.. And those just refuse to get out of your head.. no matter how much time passes..

    What scares me is that these men have absolutely no fear.. no fear of law, no fear of people standing around them.. and when they get away with such acts they only get bolder and go and commit worse acts..

    I have traveled several times in public transport in countries outside India late at night.. but have never felt the fear that I used to feel when I used to travel by public transport in Delhi - day or night..

    If this kind of bystander mentality doesnt change it's going to become difficult to live in this country..

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  96. very ashamed that this happened and none of the men did anything.

    For next time - just kick the guy in the nuts who does this to you so that there is a scar left on HIM for his entire life...

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  97. Ritika, i m sure that every girl who has read this blog can relate to sitution and can undergo the same painful experience. You hv raised voice on something which definitely leaves "psychological scars", fear, and unnecessary guilt feeling to deal with for rest of the life. I m sharing ur blog because i share the pain and cnt put it in any better way.

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  98. You made a mistake alighting from the metro. I am sure there must be some good people around if not all.Screaming/abusing at them when the train started moving made you a matter of joke for the molestors inside, they were simply making fun of your helplessness at that point of time. Even people outside might have taken it like everyday instance and loose attention.
    You could have hold colar of one of them. Possibly taken assistance of other co-passengers ladies/gents, howled at them and stopped the train. Such a step could have brought more courage to other girls watching around and take assistance of police immediately.
    Never let such psychos to escape so easily as all must enjoy the treatments such goons get on being caught red handed.
    I can understand the state of mind but you must take this as a lesson and ways you can tackle such psychos..For emergency always carry a pepper spray or some hot chilly powder

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  99. feel sad and ashamed. wish getting arms in india wuld hv been as simple as in states. wuld hv luved to kill all these motherfuckers.

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  100. If only all those who replied here could come together and raise voice for their birth right- "Freedom of expression , security, etc"
    Haryana government could not have passed a law against women's working after 20:00hrs
    Neither these so called Man escape with a behavior like this

    Either get up solve the problem or live with it !!
    I am ready to solve .... but are their anyone to accompany ?!


    ( I don't feel Sorry for you, I feel sorry for them who did this, Just hoping their wife, daughters , mothers never go through this pain ever.. .)

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  101. After reading this... Feeling very sorry not for you, for all the men who molested you and more on others who just kept quite..

    Such people must know that they also have wife, sisters..

    Why Feel sorry for u.. You are a brave a girl who have guts to share all this...

    Same sort of things are also there in Mumbai local trains where people look ladies like a Jungali bhediya..

    Ritika .. take some legal action against such Bas***ds ...



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  102. Please file a complaint with the Delhi Metro giving the specific date time and location.

    The trains have closed circuit TV and it is possible that if you give the data the perpetrators can be identified.

    If so they can be prosecuted which will be a lesson not only for them but for all others who misbehave in this manner

    I Singh

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  103. I admire your guts Ritika... also how politely you replied to every hot-headed response you received. I just hope your voice reaches to every by-stander in every city and if they have any soul, they will stand against such incidents.

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  104. It is an ordeal for women to be born in India....it does not matter which cadre of society you belong to, women are treated awfully in this country. It is full of hypocrites who keep fasts and worship the 'Mata' and then go ahead and do stuff like this. And in a crowded metro, nobody stands against the, sorry to use the word, "victim". It has happened to Ritika, me and I am sure a lot of other girls in various other situations!!! This is just shameful!!! Completely shameful!!

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  105. I'm numb after reading this. Its not just Delhi, I too have been put through a scarring ordeal here in Mumbai...and the best/ worst part of it was...that it was cop!!

    Such incidences really are a way of killing a person, but then asking them to get up afterwards. I'm not sure of what I can say to you to make you feel better about yourself Ritika...as a matter of fact there is nothing that one can say. I wish you regain the strength to face life and each day with your head held high and with pride.

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